Slap The Goat

Welcome To Virginia!

2011-05-14T09:27:00.003-04:00

I am surrounded by people that constantly complain about where they live, which happens to be where I live. I hear complaints about the weather, traffic, rude people, cost of housing, urban sprawl, and on and on. I was born here and I take great offense, as most of these people are not from here. I used to work with a guy from Texas and he said there was a bumper sticker that was popular a few years ago in Texas that said, "Welcome to Texas! Now go home!" I understand this. If you don't like it here, then leave, because I'm tired of you and your complaining.

I've tried to explain to these people that it wasn't always they way it is now. Actually, it's because of them that it is the way it is now. At one point in time, Northern Virginia was very small town. We had people that worked for the government that came and went and then there were the natives. We didn't have the big corporations that decided to come here and make their home around DC and Dulles International Airport. We had farms, with cows and vegetables. There were no McMansions, Mercedes or Jimmy Choo's. We did have a Sears catalogue store that when you went to pick up your order and gave them a check, they told you they didn't need to see your driver's license or get a blood sample.

But they came here anyway because their job brought them here so that they could make their six figures and sneer at you in the grocery store when you say, "Excuse me, can I move your cart so I can get by?" I swear, some of them wait in the parking lot for you so they can mow you down with their Escalades while they are talking on their Blackberry complaining to their friends that it's so humid here.

My advice to these whiners, the cleaned up version is... Get some manners, buy some Aqua Net for those humid days, a pair of Keds will make your feet feel better, if you bought that house because it was bigger than the Jones', sell it, because replacing the roof on it is going to cost you fifteen grand at least, cotton pedal pushers and a t-shirt from Target are much cooler than the bamboo slacks and silk shirt from Nordstroms and a Volkswagen will fit into the parking space at the mall much easier.

Now go home.

GIANT

2011-04-30T07:46:00.002-04:00

Where I live we have several chain grocery stores but one is local in the DC, Virginia and Maryland area. For many years it was owned by a local family but they sold it to a company in a foreign land and then they sold it to someone else. Anyway, it's called Giant Food, Inc. I think. Giant for short.

I get very attached to my grocery store. Before sprawl started in our community we only had one Giant and the same people worked there for years and years. Sometimes one of the employees would be transferred to another store for a promotion, but for the most part you knew everyone and they knew you and your kids and it was nice. Well, they built a shiny new Giant that was much closer to my house and I started going there. A few of the employees from the old Giant came to work at the new Giant, but not many. My mother refused to go there and kept going to the old Giant and she said that everyone asked about me and the kids because they never saw us anymore. I hate guilt. So every once in a while I'd go there to do my shopping.

When we go to the beach, we shop at Food Lion. When I'm there I get really annoyed that I don't have "my" Giant. The prices are higher, it's not as pretty, I can't find my usual brands, etc. I sound like a brat don't I? And then, if I happen to be let's say in my sister's neck of the woods, which is about 20 miles from me and I go to "her" Giant, I feel like I'm in a foreign land. I get all confused like the old people in my area get when they decide to rearrange the aisles and hide the taco seasoning. This happened when they decided to separate the Spanish food aisle and the Mexican food aisle. WTH?

Anyway, when I get back to my Giant it's like a homecoming. I want to run in and hug the manager, who only remembers me because of a new cashier he hired a few weeks ago. I was buying a bottle of wine and he turned on the flashing light over the cash register. He said, "I'm not old enough to sell the wine to you so I have to call the manager. Can I have your I.D. please." I said, "I'm going to jump over this counter and kiss you!" He turned all red and purple and just as I was trying to pry my driver's license out of my wallet the manager came up and said, "It's OK, I don't need to see it."

Damn.

Liquid or Sheet?

2011-04-10T08:53:00.003-04:00

I keep thinking about closing up shop here since I don't write much anymore. I used to get so much pleasure out of it, but my muse done up and rundofft. My life has become so predictable, complicated by the RA some days and I think I'm just getting old and tired. Some days I would like to rant and rave about work. I am the office manager with all the responsibility and no authority. Think about that for a minute. Then there are some employees that make their existance in the office a chore in itself. You know the type, they walk in a room and suck all the air out of it. They exhaust me. Other days I'd like to write about just how bad my home life has become and how I am trying to overcome it by making a life of my own, starting with going back to church. This makes the husband angrier than he already is. I think he has sunk to a new low. Last week the baby and I were getting ready to walk out the door and he asked where we were going and I told him church. His response was, "Well Jesus Christ!" Yep. Then there is the whole situation with my mother who needs to move out of the facility that she's in because they are closing it and the battle I'm having with the insurance company to approve the new facility. My poor mother is getting more anxious by the day and I it makes me so mad that a corporation can manipulate how my mother feels. She paid the outrageous premium each month for 15 years and they couldn't care less. What else can I whine about? Oh yeah, the laundry......

There Is Something In There

2011-02-13T08:52:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I shirked my responsibilities to my house and the Baby and I went to some antique shops in downtown Leesburg. These shops are in old homes in the historic part of town. So many neat and over priced items, but fun to look at. My sister tells me that the antique business is going down hill as people aren't as interested as they used to be. If you're looking for old dishes though, this is the place to be.

So, we are walking through one building that in it's day used to be "the" grand home in the town. It was so cool. Lots of stairs, nooks, crannies, a maze to get lost in. I stopped in this one little nook to look at this old wedding gown. I picked it up and was admiring it and I noticed that this spot in the house was much colder than the rest. The Baby came up behind me and I said, "Look at this dress. Isn't it beautiful?" And he said, "Why is it so cold right here?" We walked away and I started looking around and lost him in the maze of the house.

I was walking down the stairs and I saw him at the bottom and he said, "I need to get out of here, I feel like I can't breathe. There is "something" in here."

We left and we were walking down the sidewalk and I looked up at the house and I said, "It's so beautiful." And he said, "I don't care if they were giving it away. I would not live there. There is something in there!!!!!"

Bits and Pieces

2011-02-02T20:44:00.002-05:00

I was wondering, if I posted some some vignettes like my friend Andrew over at The 4th Avenue Blues does, if it would help me get back to writing. I don't know why it's so hard these days.

CHILDREN

My son, Allen, or as you may know him as The First Born, is officially published. I'm so very proud of him. He will graduate law school in May. Where did he get those brains? My second son, JT, The Baby has trouble coping with his big brother's success. But, he doesn't realize that he is a miracle to me. Born at 24 weeks and being such a good kind soul as an adult. Just recently, he had some blood work come back abnormal. I am worried sick about it, but I won't let him know that. His appointment with his doctor is in one week. You just don't know about these preemies 21 years later. Anything could happen.

THE FURRY CHILDREN

Well...they make me laugh. Last night, Henry decided to cuddle up around 2 a.m. for some face rubbing. Why he likes his faced rubbed is beyond me. Gidget decided to curl up in the crook of my knees. I could tell she was full of herself. She waited a bit, purred and then reached over and punched Henry right in the ribs. Satisfied with herself, she went to sleep. Poor Henry was banished to the floor on my side of the bed.

THE WEATHER

We were lucky again. We just got some rain and warm temps. The wind is howling tonight though. The back end of the hell the rest of the country got. I hope all of my friends that are scattered across the country are warm and safe tonight.

21

2011-01-30T09:02:00.002-05:00

My baby turned 21 on Thursday. Boy do I feel old! Poor kid had to drive to work Wednesday night in THE snow storm. It took him 5 hours to do a 20 minute commute. Then he didn't get home until 4 a.m. on Thursday. He slept all day and then went back to work that night. It sucks being grown up some days.

That snow storm. We were supposed to close our office at 2:30, but, the one doctor we had didn't want too, she wanted to finish seeing her patients because it wasn't supposed to start snowing until 5. Three o'clock came around and all hell broke lose. I've never seen a storm come on so fast and furious. It took me 2 hours to drive my 8 miles home. I shouldn't complain though, it took one of my coworkers 7 hours to get home. Another storm is predicted for Ground Hog Day. I can hardly wait.

Saving

2011-01-02T09:23:00.002-05:00

I guess everyone does some cleaning out at the first of the year. I am not so inclined to get it all done over the new year weekend. Nor am I ready to take down all the Christmas decorations just yet. I use the excuse that Christmas doesn't end until January 6th and that works for me, so the tree will stay up until next weekend.

I was cleaning out my closet and found a sewing basket/box that had belonged to me when I was a young girl and somehow, it wound up in my grandmother's possession, then my mother's now it's found it's way back to me. I was going to throw away the contents and give it away, but, I couldn't after I looked in it.

In there were pieces of elastic, some hooks without the eyes, old sewing needles, a scissor sharpener from an Esso gas station, hem binding, some new in the original packages, some little pieces that had been wrapped around card board and pinned, buttons and pieces of paper with bits of thread wrapped around them.

My grandmother rarely threw anything away that she thought she might need as she grew up poor and lived through the great depression. I looked at those pieces of thread and thought about what she may have been thinking when she saved them. Maybe she was worried that if she lost a button and didn't have any thread, that she might not have the money to buy a new spool. Or why buy a new spool when she could save the little bit and have the money for something more important?

We all attach importance to little things in our life, save them, put them away and then someone years later will throw them away. It's a little unnerving to me.

What do you save?

Puffin and Friend Go Ghost Hunting

2010-11-14T08:44:00.003-05:00

2010-10-13T21:37:00.000-04:00

Evil Train Tickets For Sale

2010-10-11T18:57:00.003-04:00

So yesterday, was a day that The Baby and I spent running around doing errands, visiting my mother, having breakfast out. Anything to stay out of the house so I didn't have to clean the bathrooms.

We went to the mall to check it out as we hadn't been there in like ages. They have a train that runs around the mall for the kids to ride and the horn, quietly, sounds like a real train horn. People were slow to get out of the way. The Baby, having the same sense of humor I have says, "If I were driving that train, I'd just lay on the horn and plow through the crowd, full speed ahead. I'd be the evil train driver." I said, "Evil engineer." He said, "Whatever."

I told him that all he would need is the evil clown head on top of the engine.

If I Win

2010-10-08T05:52:00.005-04:00

I've been back to work for two weeks, since vacation, and I haven't slept a whole night through. These sleepless nights have caused the RA to flare up. My job is making me sick or sicker. Big surprise. I keep telling people I'm going to buy a lottery ticket and I haven't done it yet. You've got to play to win.

More Puffin On Vacay

2010-09-26T18:47:00.005-04:00

Puffin Vacations in Virginia and South Carolina

2010-09-26T09:52:00.009-04:00

Full Moon Fussy Pants

2010-09-25T08:28:00.002-04:00

That's me. Home from the beach and cranky about it, as always.

We left here two weeks ago at 4 a.m. and the temperature here in Northern Virginia was 47. I had to turn the heat on in the car. When we arrived in Myrtle Beach 8 hours later it was 87. Thankfully. Of course yesterday, it was 100 degrees here and I was in West Virginia, at a craft show, in the middle of a field, sweating like a whore in church, as Teener would say.

The weather was glorious, a little rain on Sunday morning, then nothing but blue skies and warm water. The only problem was, I had an allergic reaction to the sun tan lotion and broke out in a hideous rash. So next year it will be either a compounded sort or one that Neutrogena makes at about $50 a bottle. GRRR.

I discovered a new pimento cheese quite by accident while in MB. I sent the warden to the grocery store when we first got there and it was on the list. He, as usual, got his tongue twisted when asking where to find it and he asked for Palmetto Cheese. They actually had it in the gourmet section of the store. He bought it and brought it back to the condo. OMG. It's fabulous and addicting. They have a web site, and they are on FB. If you can't find it in your local Harris Teeter, they will ship it to you and it's worth every penny.

Check out this store, asummerhome.com if you want some beachy furnishings for your house. I was ready to buy all new furniture for my house while I was there. Then I was ready to buy a house there and put the furniture in it. I need to move there.

I have pictures of Puffin the traveling Pig that I'll post soon and then she's back to Tennessee for her next adventure. Sponge Bob accompanied her on her trip and they had a blast.

So, after loads of laundry, all sorts of computer issues and 3 hours on the phone with Dell, cuddling the needy cats and getting life back to normal, I will buy a lottery ticket and return to work.

Carolina will always be on my mind.

On Being Punished

2010-09-06T08:22:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about karma a lot lately. Isn't it the Buddhist version of God in the old testament? Or a parent with the threat of "the belt" if you don't behave? I'm just wondering.

I know a woman that is really full of herself. You know the type, an authority on everything, can do no wrong, her universe is perfect because she single handedly made it that way. Not one thing humble about her. I've also witnessed her manipulating situations for her benefit. I often wonder, if I know that, what has she done that I don't know about?

So, in the past year or maybe since Christmas, her world started crumbling. Piece by piece things started happening. Some pretty major, some not so much, but still a constant barrage and it has made me think about the universe and how it works.

Is there a higher power that keeps a checklist on us and when it reaches, oh let's say, 100 questionable behaviors, it's smack down time?

What do you think?

Sweet Caroline

2010-08-31T19:45:00.002-04:00

So poisonous crazy lady at work came into my office yesterday to talk about Hurricane EARL! She is supposed to go to the Outer Banks on Saturday and is worried. I told her she just wanted to complain about something and not to worry. Even if EARL! did skirt the coast, he was moving pretty damn fast and it would only ruin maybe one day of her vacay.

Me? I'm worried about who will show up after Fiona, as we leave on the 11th for MB. Ah well, as The Baby says, "We'll just sit in the room and watch QVC." Ha! Maybe I'll just go shopping at the Mall or to the movies or to the aquarium or sooooomething.

Anyway, poisonous crazy lady said that the people that stole her mother's ring, only took ONE ring, and left the emerald and other diamond alone. Hmmmm... I think I smell a rat that just might have misplaced her ring and blamed a robber for it and was afraid to tell her daughter.

So tomorrow, is my sweet Caroline's 22nd birthday. For those of you that don't know about Caroline, she is a baby that I lost 22 years ago. I often wonder about the possibilities.....

Happy Birthday Sweet Caroline.

Poison Iveeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2010-08-24T20:35:00.003-04:00

I was reading some one's blog the other day and he was addressing poisonous people and how important it is to get them out of your life. It made me think about all of the ones in my life and how it's not a reality for me to rid myself of them. I just have to live with them for the time being. But something made me chuckle when I was thinking of all these people. They don't know that they are poisonous and would be aghast! if it was pointed out to them.

One in particular, I have to tell you about because, she is always talking new age psycho babble and at her age I think she should know better because it just makes her look crazy. This is of course, is on top of her poisonous ways. She's very busy you know. I'm just a little tired of her talking about her astrologer and how she's feung shui-ing her house and how well she understood Eat, Pray, Love after she saw the movie, but didn't get the book. I'm tired of the diets, the exercise classes, how she sleeps the entire weekends because her job just sucks the life out of her (she's a receptionist), her massages, manicures, pedicures, herbs, teas, therapists, doctor appointments and how she's going to set herself free because she stopped dyeing her hair. Now I'm exhausted, but I must push on.

Yes, the poison part. Everything is an issue. Everything. It's a drama waiting to be penned, performed, directed and produced by her. If it's not an issue, she's going to make it one. And it's all about her.

Today, it was about her mother, herself. Her elderly mother had invited someone into her home posing as some sort of insurance sales person. These people robbed her mother of her jewelry and cash she had in her home. When she called her mother and her mother was relaying the story, the Drama Queen's phone went dead. I asked her if her mother was hurt or if she had called the police and she said, "I don't know, my phone went dead."

Me: Did you plug your phone in and call her back?
Her: No, my charger was in my car?
Me: You didn't go out to your car and get it?
Her: No, I was just too tired to do it. WHAT am I going to do about my mother?

I was so dumbfounded, I just walked away. Even the issues I have with my own mother, I would have called the airline, made a reservation and gone to her side to make sure she was ok. No, not this woman, it was ALL about how her mother causes HER such problems and blah dee blah.

Later on in the day she said, "Of all of my mother's jewelry, it was her wedding ring they took and that was MY favorite."

OMG.

I'm Ridin' Solo

2010-08-17T20:25:00.002-04:00

Was it last year or the year before that everyone in my family and close friends forgot my birthday? The people at work didn't, as it's posted on the big calendar, and my friends on the internet didn't either. Isn't that so weird? This includes both children (adults), the DH, my mother and my sister. And two very close friends.

Now the husband hasn't forgotten this year as I told him I was taking Friday off and he wanted to know what for. I told him it was my birthday and I was going to take the day off and maybe go to the movies. BY MYSELF. As I don't want to hear any complaining about the movie I want to see on my birthday. I might see two. I might even buy myself something. Anyway, the husband has bought me a new lens for my camera. How do I know this? He keeps walking by and touching my camera, looking at it and asking me why I don't use it much. ( Where do I go to use it?) Anyway, for a long time now, I've wanted a zoom lense and I just hope he has bought the one that fits my camera. Because if it is the wrong one, I'll be responsible for calling, repackaging, driving, mailing, fed-exing...blah, blah to return it and it sort of takes the fun out of everything. I know, big deal, but really I'd just rather not.

I'm old and I think I'm going crazy. How do I know that? My sister told me that my hormone creams were not working because I don't look at men anymore. Why do you say that? Because remember when Kathy Murphy went through menopause and started acting crazy and she took the hormones and was her old self again? I said, "I didn't say I was feeling crazy, I said I was going crazy. God knows I don't act crazy, even though I'd like too, but one person in my universe has to have it together or look that way anway." There is a huge difference in acting/being crazy and going crazy. One is usually caused by an influence (medical) and the other you're being driven to by an influence (flickering gas lights and crazy ass husbands and sisters.)

I don't know. Now my car needs to go into the shop for a recall on the transmission. Holy Crap. The old card had transmission issues and now the new one? Can't Ford just get it right?

Until next time.

A Vacation To Come

2010-08-14T20:07:00.004-04:00

In a few weeks I will finally be going on vacation. It seems so long since I have been away to my favorite place. It's been my favorite place since I was about 12. I remember the first time I saw it, driving for hours, through the country, passing farms, then noticing the sandy roads and palmetto trees, then into town, through the intersection, getting a glimpse of "What the hell is that? Ocean?" Who has kept this a secret from me all this time? I have an idea.

I've seen it grow from a small beach town to a mega vacation destination. I miss the old days, but embrace the new, begrudgingly. I'm so different from the DH. He likes the glitz and glam, I like the old and quiet. My kids are a combination of the two. A little of this and that is ok with them.

If it were just me, I think I'd slip away to the quieter place, just south of there. All I need is a little store for sustenance, the beach and a few books. I don't mind cooking the simple meals as long as I have a hand at cleaning it all up. The ocean is fine too cool off in, but a pool is pretty cool too, as long as it is a quiet one. I no longer want or need the bright lights and fancy restaurants. I just want some quiet.

Since we are going two months later than usual, I think we will have a lot of quiet.

I can't wait.

He's No Longer A Red Head

2010-08-04T06:49:00.001-04:00

I've noticed, like the Queen, that we have no japanese beetles this year. So when I mention this to DH, and wonder out loud if it has anything to do with global warming, his alter ego, Cliff Claven appears. I hear, "Oh yes, I heard just the other day on WTOP that the ultraviolet rays are so strong that they are killing off the larvae." All he needed to add was, "It's a little known fact."

So, I have a bald cardinal that is just so pitiful to look at. I wonder if his little cardinal buddies make fun of him?

I'm tired, bored and in need of a vacay.

Insanely Hot

2010-07-06T19:40:00.000-04:00

My horriblescope said today, that there was someone in my life that always made mountains out of mole hills and that I needed to steer clear of them. I wanted to laugh, as I have quite a few of those people in my life. Drama Queens, you know the type, male and female alike. I wonder if I should have stayed in bed and pulled the covers over my head? It's 10:00 a.m. so far so good.

It's hot here. It's so hot that it makes you sick. That's what you get for living between the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Chesapeake Bay. Lovely place to live, but the weather is so unpredictable. Yet, the weathermen continue to be paid for being wrong 95% of the time. I want that job.

I have 11 weeks to lose 11 pounds.

The Baby will be back from his mini vacay today. Thank GAWD. The Baby Cat is driving me INSANE!

Bio Identical Tears

2010-07-05T19:39:00.003-04:00

Did I forget to mention the new hormones I've been trying? Bio Identical. I read a little about them and then forgot about them, until I was in my doctor's office for a sinus infection and there happened to be a brochure on the wall about them. When the NP came in I asked her about them and she said, "Why yes! I'm trained to dispense them." So I said, "Why the hell not."

The first 3o days, nothing. Then, I noticed that my hot flashes were a bit better and I was sleeping a tiny bit better. Then last night, I was dreaming about a man in my life, that I've never been in any way involved with, or over the moon about, you get the picture. But, I woke up after a dream of him and cried about it.

WTF?

I haven't cried in maybe two or three years. Oh, I've been unhappy and depressed, but never enough to cry. Oh wait, I cried not too long ago when a young girl that works for me, told me she had trouble paying her rent and the embarrassment she had over a notice pasted on her door. I felt so bad for her.

But, emotional, love stuff, NOTHING. Until my dream last night.

Maybe life is better without tears.

Friday Call

2010-07-03T11:42:00.002-04:00

Phone ringing.

Me: Urology Group
Her: Yes, this is Kelli with an "i" calling from Dr. Whoazee's office.
Me: Yes?
Her: I have a patient here that needs to be seen by someone in your office ASAP.
Me: Does he need to be seen today?
Her: Yes!
Me: We don't have a provider in our office today, but, I'll look at the schedules in the other offices.
Her: Thank you.
Me: What does he need to be seen for?
Her: Premature ejaculation.

******Crickets******

Her: I realize it's not an emergency, but, his wife is trying to leave him today and he really wants to be seen.

I had to put her on hold so I could laugh.

I wanted to tell both nurse Kelli with an "i" and patient, that was most likely just ONE of the many reasons she's walking out that door.

For Andrew

2010-06-24T21:24:00.001-04:00

Light

2010-06-16T21:58:00.001-04:00

Light is everything. Especially to an artist and photographer and to those of us who are affected by the lack of it. My youngest son is very sensitive to light. As the seasons change or when the time of day passes, he comments on it. He, like his mother, does not like the light around 5:00 p.m., doesn't matter the time of year, we just don't. I wish I knew why.

In my office, my desk is right next to a window, that faces east, I keep the blinds raised. On sunny days, I get my cup of coffee, turn on my computer and sit in the morning sun. It's a little bit of heaven to start my day. The sunlight reflects off of the green grass and trees and sometimes the room will have a golden green glow to it.

My car has a sun roof and I have vowed never to own another car without one. I park in a parking garage and when I exit the cave, bright warm light floods my car. I love that.

But, today, is a cloudy day. Everyone in the office, including me, is on edge.

Maybe I'm not the only one that light affects.

The BA ton

2010-06-09T20:17:00.003-04:00

I left ya'll hanging about the baton, not that it was high on your list of "I Wonders." But, I'll fill you in since you didn't ask.

When my sister and I were growing up, we wanted to do what all little girls did back in the 50s and 60s. We wanted to take ballet lessons, tap lessons, singing, ice skating and baton lessons. We had several friends that took some of these lessons, but one thing that impressed both of us very much, at one time, was baton lessons. Why you ask? We wanted to be majorettes! We wanted those sparkly costumes, those white boots and we wanted to lead the parade! Our mother and when I'm annoyed with my mother I like to call her, to my sister, YOUR MOTHER, wasn't impressed.

She had it in her head, because it was what she wanted and what she did when she was young, that all little girls should and would by GOD, learn to play the piano. Period. End of story and what dreams my sister and I may have had. Didn't matter if you had any talent or desire, you were going to do it. Besides, as she said, "All you want to do is show your bottom to everyone in one of those costumes." I swear, that's what she said, because, that's what her mother said to her when she told her that we wanted to take baton lessons and be majorettes.

Well, for whatever reason, Santa brought us batons for Christmas. Salt in the wound maybe? Let's torture them a little? I don't know. I never did learn how to twirl it. Oh I could do the basic twirl and my sister would put her white rubber rain boots on and march up and down the driveway, in her bathing suit, but that was the extent of our career as a majorette.

When I was cleaning out my mother's house recently, I found my baton. My sister and I had fun playing with it. My youngest son asked, "What the hell is that?" We had a few good laughs. I told my sister to take it home with her and give it to her granddaughters when she said, "They won't know what it is either." Hmmm. So, I brought my memory home with me.

Just recently, I thought about it and wondered where it was. It wasn't where I thought I left it. So, of course I start getting angry, because....my DH has a propensity for throwing things away that he thinks I don't need. I looked and looked and then one day last week I found it. I was still mad at the DH and wanted to beat him with it. Now don't get yourself all worked up thinking I'm one of those trailer park women you see hauled out of a double wide on cops every Saturday night. It was just a passing thought and you're wondering why did I want to hit my DH with a baton, since clearly I had put it away and forgot where I put it?

My sister understands this reasoning.

My husband over the years has thrown away and a few times, intentionally broken some things that I have held dear to my heart. A CD that he thought reminded me of another man mysteriously disappeared. The movie Message in a Bottle, he thought I liked it a little too much. A picture that I had drawn, which took great effort, of my two living children and the two that died, I guess he didn't think it was that good. A little dish that one of my bosses gave me that he bought in Mexico. It was made out of marble and had two carved birds on the top of it. The birds where pried off mysteriously one day. A doll that I had when I was little, the house that I once owned (long story, but it's gone), you get the picture.

I figured that my husband was the cause of the distress I was feeling over the baton. Even though he didn't discard it, from his past actions, he made me feel that anxiety, for several days.

That was my reasoning for wanting to smack him upside the head with it.

Does anyone else get it?

Where's My Baton?

2010-06-06T20:37:00.002-04:00

OK. So. My sister was dumped for Jesus and the freak that dumped her married his FIRST cousin. These aren't kids, they are 60 years old PLUS.

My sister can't get over it.

I'm ready to slap the shit out of all three of them.

I'll tell you the story about the baton later on.

Ohio Didn't Deserve The Lottery Win

2010-06-03T20:36:00.003-04:00

I should write, I should write, but, I have trouble these days. So I'll write.

Work. Blech. I've been lectured and yelled at several times this week. I held a meeting of the front office staff and told them, "If you can't or don't want to do your job, then find another one." I've gotten the cold shoulder since then, but, I also told them that if I lose my job because of them, they were going down with me. Period.

The CT scan of the sinuses, shows the deviated septum and now bone spurs. I didn't know you could grow a deviated septum in your adult years. I just thought it was there. So, off to the ENT who will tell me I need surgery and for me to tell him that no, I don't want surgery.

My insurance company is now refusing to pay for my RA meds. OK, so I thought they had approved them. On Tuesday, I was walking into work and was met in the hallway by one of my doctor's staff members that told me I needed to call my insurance company. I told her, I was aware of the issue, but that they needed information from their office, not from me. Like I have time to do their job and mine. So, I called and the insurance company said that they needed information from my doctors office NOT ME. They also said that my doctors office CANNOT bill me for this treatment as they did not answer their request. Since then, I've been composing a very nasty letter to my doctor, which tells him, that this is the third time I've complained about his incompetent staff who ignores me each time I walk in and wait at the window to ask a simple question. They look at me, turn their back and make me stand there for ten minutes before they will open the window to say..."Yes?" F-ING pisses me off.

OK, so I shouldn't be blogging if I'm in a mood.

My flower garden is looking good. My garage is all cleaned out. My rec room is improving.

Now if I could just win the lottery.

Vacay Can't Get Here Fast Enough

2010-05-17T20:31:00.003-04:00

WTH? ABC execs said that when Kate Gosselin left DWTS the ratings dropped by 17% and that's why they are going to bring her back next week?

Who the hell was watching DWTS to see her? Ten year olds? I don't mean to insult ten year olds, but really....WTH?

The garden is planted. Those of you that have read me for years, know that I love planting my flower garden each Spring. I start thinking about my garden in November, plotting and planning. It's still a baby garden, but if the sun ever comes out this week, I'm sure she will grow beautifully. I will mulch next weekend. I like the black mulch, because when the flowers bloom they look so beautiful on a black back drop.

It was a rough day today. Work wise. And as much as I would love to rant, I can't. I don't think anyone from work knows about my blog, but just in case, I'll have to keep my mouth shut. I will say, that one of the docs called me when I got home and was in a rage. Over something that happened last week. He wasn't even in the office today. WTH? I've moved on, apparently he hasn't.

Why do I keep typing WTH?

Today I made the reservations for our vacation. It can't come soon enough.

Jason Mraz - A Beautiful Mess (Live at the Nobel Peace Prize concert)

2010-05-13T20:55:00.000-04:00

Three Dresses

2010-05-05T20:06:00.002-04:00

Ruby is making me think. Think about things I would rather push in the back of my mind and pretend never happened.

Anything less than nurturing is abuse.

My mother always told me that that when she was young they were poor. She only had three dresses to wear to school and they were made out of flour sacks. She saved those dresses and when she pulled them from the cedar chest one day, my sister took them and made a pillow out of them that my mother kept on her bed. When we cleaned out her house last summer, I told my sister to take the pillow.

Each year, for my August birthday, my mother and I went shopping and she bought me three dresses for the school year.

Baby I'm Amazed

2010-04-30T18:29:00.003-04:00

Our practice is considering buying office space that is next to ours. Problem is, there was a suicide there a few years ago. One of the docs didn't think life was worth living after an incident. "The room" is secluded from the rest of the office and the other night when we went to look at it, one of my docs didn't really want to go in. He relented after I made him feel like a girl.

The next day, I spoke to one of the other docs in my practice and told him what I thought the room would be good for. He made a gun with his finger and thumb and put it in his mouth and said, "But that's where he did it." I said, "You and (insert name) are so silly. It's ok, it's a great room and I think it would be good for blah, blah. He said, "It gives me the creeps."

Today, I talked to the other doc and said, "I spoke to (insert name) and we agreed on changing the kitchen to an exam room and I think, that THE ROOM would be great for doing procedures." He said, "Oh, no, that room gives me the creeps, I don't think we want to buy that part of the office."

I told him he was being a big baby like Dr. So and So and that the doctor that killed himself there had moved on and not to worry about it.

He said, "Well, if that's what YOU think....."

These are grown and educated men. I'm just amazed.

But

2010-04-29T20:16:00.000-04:00

Thou shalt not blog about work, but...

Yesterday, I was in the ladies room in the office building where I work. I noticed some feet under one of the doors and they weren't moving, no noises coming from within, so I made a mental note to go back and check on the feet later on. About twenty minutes later, I went back in the ladies room and low and behold, there was a man washing his hands. A blind man. I said, "Did you know that you were in the ladies room?" and he said, "No, I didn't see the sign." Hahahahaha. I helped him find his way.

I share an office with another NPD person. This one however is bipolar.

I'm losing my mind.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder ala Smirnoff

2010-04-26T21:17:00.005-04:00

Him: Today I delivered a lot of over night letters from banks, the houses had lock boxes on them.

Me: So.

Him: I'm sure they took out 2nd and 3rd trusts. They all had fancy cars in their driveways. Looks like the bank is going to foreclose.

Me: So.

Him: (Laughing) They deserve it. Running around spending money, big jobs, fancy cars, trying to impress people.

Me: It's not right that you find pleasure in other people's pain.

Him: It happened to "ME" but "WE" had different circumstances.

Me: Yeah sure. You didn't pay "YOUR" taxes so "MY" house was foreclosed on.

Him: I didn't want that house anyway.

Me: It wasn't yours to want to begin with.

Him: I don't care.

Me: I know you don't, nor did you.

Please Tell Mark Brunetz To Stop

2010-04-24T08:09:00.004-04:00

I watch the TV show Clean house a few times a week and I've decided that something is really bothering me about the finished product in 99% of the designs.

The drapes.

It doesn't matter how big or small the room is, the designer, Mark, always hangs these hideous heavy drapes in awful colors. It reminds me of a funeral home where they place the casket up against a wall of drapes.

Someone needs to tell him to STOP.

Julia Envy

2010-04-18T21:52:00.003-04:00

I had my hair cut yesterday and just so you know, I look like the village idiot. I have hateful hair. In my next life, I want hair like Julia Roberts. I want her teeth and thighs too.

Oreck Update

2010-04-17T08:16:00.002-04:00

Oreck update: It's ok. I haven't decided if it's spectacular. It's so light weight that it seems cheap. Is it?

Is it just me or does everyone have people in their life that behave badly? It seems that I have more than my fair share. On a daily basis, I have six people that I am in contact with that I think would be diagnosed with personality disorders, if they were so inclined to go into therapy for driving the people around them totally insane. One thing they have in common is that they all act superior towards others. Whether they actually feel superior or it's a facade, I have no idea. I'm getting just a little tired of it.

My dreams are so weird lately. I had another one of those driving backwards dreams the other night. This time I was in a red pick up truck, which we do have in this family, but, I didn't think it was mine in the dream. My sister was sitting beside me and the truck was backing up and I kept stepping on the brake pedal and it wouldn't stop. My sister kept yelling at me to stop the truck because I was going to hit her horse. WTH? My sister doesn't own a horse, nor has she ever ridden one, with the exception of a pony when she was 5. I kept steering the truck all over this farm of sorts, and finally I got it to stop because I backed it up a hill and the truck stopped or stalled. The hill was covered with green grass and buttercups.

Last night there was a mystery man in my dreams.

The Oreck

2010-04-08T22:40:00.002-04:00

I'll try not to whine too much tonight. I'm just hanging around waiting for The Baby to get home from work. We're having some thunderstorms and I hate for him to drive in them when it's dark.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning to an awful sound. There was a fox in my front yard, screaming. Henry, the crab cat, was content to lay next to me as long as I was scratching him, but, Gidget was having a hissy. She was growling and running from window to window. He finally stopped the screaming, but it took him about 10 minutes. That is the worst sound.

So, I'm getting a new vacuum cleaner. The one I had, was good, but it got something stuck in it. DH decided to take it apart and then couldn't get it back together again. It landed out at the curb. Our very old one is ok, but with two long hair cats, it just doesn't do a good enough job. On Sunday I was feeling under the weather and I landed on the sofa with the remote and turned on QVC. That's all it took for DH. The Oreck is on it's way. I'm going back to one with a bag because the bagless ones are a TOTAL PAIN to clean.

I hope it gets here tomorrow. DH has a lot of vacuuming to catch up on.

Actemra Day

2010-04-08T09:26:00.003-04:00

I'm taking the morning off because I can't walk. Well, I can, but it is with great difficulty. My appointment for the new med is today, I will go to work afterwards. It scares me to take these drugs after my serum sickness reaction and subsequent anaphylactic reaction to Remicade. Then the whole Simponi reaction which my doctor implies was a panick attack. BS. I've never had a panick attack in my life. Well, my spider phobia raises my heart rate just a bit.

I'm scared now. I'm afraid of ending up in a wheel chair or worse.

I Hate Snippets

2010-04-06T21:51:00.002-04:00

My Duke boys won. It could have been any one's game. Both teams played remarkably well. It was a real nail biter for sure. I think I might have even chewed on the carpet at one point.

Buzz is gone. Thankfully.

And The Baby came home last night, all pumped up and it wasn't because of a basketball game. The Baby loves cars. I do too. Muscle cars, fast cars, zero to 100 in 3 second cars. He works with a guy that owns a Lotus and the guy let him drive it last night. He was on cloud nine when he got home. I love seeing my kids excited about things. Makes my heart happy.

It was 93 today. In April. In Northern Virginia.

TV Tonight

2010-04-05T20:15:00.002-04:00

Go Duke Blue Devils! You're my boys!

And Buzz...I just don't think I can bear to watch you tonight. Please go home.

Crank Pots

2010-04-03T09:48:00.003-04:00

Is this going on in your life? Everyone seems like they are ready for a fight. You make one comment and they come back at you like a tsunami. For instance:

Me: It's such a pretty day today.
Them: I hate the sun. I wish it was raining.

Me: I love the color periwinkle.
Them: It's too bright, gives me a headache and it reminds of of old lady clothes.

Me: The new boardwalk in MB is so pretty, they did such a good job.
Them: I have to work all summer so it doesn't matter to me.

Me: I love the movie Transformers. The special affects are amazing.
Them: I can't suspend my beliefs long enough to watch that crap.

Me: I feel sorry for the animals in the circus.
Them: They don't hit them with whips to make them do tricks. The whip just makes a sound to scare them. I belong to the humane society so I don't care.

Me: Mr. Kidney Stone is on the phone and wants to schedule his surgery.
Them: You tell him that he's calling on the doctor line and I will not talk to him until he calls back on the patient line. Tell him to hang up and call back on the right line.

Me: Isn't the cherry tree pretty this year?
Them: I'm going to cut it down, it's too close to the house.

Me: Surprise! I bought you a new computer!
Them: Why did you buy it from THAT store?

Me: I'm so impressed with Ruby and how she has lost her weight.
Them: I could never be friends with a fat person.

Yes, these are actual things that were said to me this week. What do you say in response? Nothing. Because I learned a long time ago that people like this are just looking for an argument.

RAnt

2010-03-31T22:04:00.003-04:00

I hate this RA crap. It's only one side of my body, for now, but it's the right side, where all my strength is. It keeps me from writing some days because of the pain and swelling in my wrist. OK, that's my whine for the day. Now for the bitch du jour.

As you all know, I'm a nurse, that has given up my nursing duties to be the office manager. What was I thinking? It can be interesting at times, as the doctors talk to me a bit more than they did in the past. Today, Dr. Beige was in a snit and after he told me what was going on with one of our patients, I got into one of my liberal, save the world, indignant rants. He was pissed for other reasons and never the two shall meet.

To make a long story short, he was on call two weeks ago. After a grueling day of patients (his words) and issues, he was called to the ER to treat a patient. He did the consult, placed a stent, told the patient to return for follow up to schedule surgery if needed. Ten days later, surgery is needed, we try to schedule it and the hospital said, "Uh no, you can't. The patient doesn't have insurance, nor does he have the money to pay for the surgery. Too damn bad for him and his kidney stone."

I'm standing in the kitchen, holding my cup of coffee and I'm not sure what kept me from saying, "WTF?" but I didn't. All I said was, "You're talking XYZ hospital right?" He said "No, it's ABC hospital." WTF? ABC hospital is supposed to be a not for profit organization and a champion of the people. That's what they say anyway, especially when XYZ hospital applies for a certificate of need to build another hospital.

I asked him what the patient was supposed to do? Who's going to take care of him? Our practice will take care of him and not charge him anything, but, without a hospital to agree to supply an operating room and anesthesia, that won't do him any good. He probably owns a home so he can't get aid from the State. But what kind of country is this that expects someone to sell their house to treat a kidney stone...or worse? I know how much it costs to treat a kidney stone these days and trust me, I don't know of one, or any, of my middle class friends that have that kind of money lying around.

So I'm sitting here thinking that I'll start a new medication for my RA in a few days. Most likely, it will cost my insurance company a few thousand a month. What would I do without my insurance? I'd end up in a wheel chair in a few years.

Oh wait, I couldn't afford the wheel chair.

Dreams and Oatmeal

2010-03-27T11:59:00.003-04:00

Tell me what you think of my recurrent nightmares. I don't have them every night, just once in a while.

1. I am on a roller coaster. I don't ride roller coasters because I'm afraid of them. Yet I dream I am on one.

2. Tornadoes. I dream that I see them forming in the distance and I stand there watching them, mesmerized as they get closer. Then I start running around looking for my cats and my son, screaming to get in the basement.

3. I'm driving a car that's stuck in reverse and I'm frantically trying to stop it, but the brakes don't work. Oh boy.

Did you know that McDonalds serves oatmeal all during the day? It's good too!

See.

ADD.

For Soul

2010-03-27T08:30:00.003-04:00

I was watching GMA yesterday morning while I was getting ready for work. Jane Fonda was being interviewed for a new work out video. I couldn't tear myself away from my set to dry my hair because her face was frozen. The only thing that moved was her mouth and that didn't appear to be easy for her. All I could think of was a Clutch Cargo cartoon.

I've been thinking lately about people that feel entitled. Where does this come from? Is it a learned behavior? Is it a personality disorder? And because of this supposed entitlement, they feel it's ok to be rude, demanding and obnoxious. They will say or do anything to get their way, what they want, right at the exact moment. I guess they weren't raised by my parents. If I ever exhibited any type of behavior that was self serving, they would threaten me. Which leads to another whole issue of becoming a carpet for others to walk on. Is there a middle ground?

Today, I just want to lay in bed and read, play on the computer, dream up lottery numbers, watch crap TV, eat junk food and talk to the only sane beings in my life. My cats.

I think I have ADD.

What The Helicopter?

2010-03-21T21:53:00.002-04:00

I have a confession to make. I'm hooked on a reality TV show. Ruby. I can't help myself and I may need an intervention.

Somebody Call The Stab Cab

2010-03-18T19:57:00.003-04:00

This being my outlet, I still bite my tongue. A lot. I won't hurt anyone, even if I think they deserve it. My grandmother always said, "Summer, don't do spite work." She was a wise woman, so I listened. I may want to do spite work, dream about it, but I won't act on it. Damn, I can't have any fun. What's on the Hallmark Channel tonight?

I need to let off some steam about a person I know. I have to tell SOMEONE. So here goes.

Mizz Texas. I wish I knew where to start. Mizz EVERYTHING is an issue. I asked her about her ex employer today, why this woman she felt so close to, the woman whose children called her by a pet name and she put hit on her license plate, didn't speak to her anymore. She puffed up and said, "I think, I, was a threat to her." WTF? I was thinking....how could Mizz Texas be a threat to an educated professional with a doctor and army officer for a husband? Mizz T is a 3 time divorcee whose own daughter won't speak to her, because ex husband number 2 told said daughter her mother was a lesbian. Said Mizz T's 3rd husband was fired from two jobs because he was surfing the internet looking at porn on the work place computer. I was baffled. This woman is no spring chick. Mizz T is 61.

She said, "Her father abandoned her at an early age." OK. Then she said, "All of my husbands left me, abandoned the marriage." OK. Then she said, "Since her husband is such a loser, educated by the Army, stayed in the Army to pay them back for schooling, in his 40's, not in private practice, that he will probably find another plaything and leave her." WTF? "She looked at me as her future that's why she won't speak to me."

OMG. Kill me with a knife.

How To Annoy Me, Again

2010-03-13T01:01:00.004-05:00

I've been lying in bed for two days. The problem? I wish I could say I won the lottery and decided to lie in bed and count my winnings, but, the truth of the matter is, or truths are, an ear infection and a sinus infection. Pain is my new best friend.

So while I blankly staring at the Lifetime Movie Network and wondering how many haunted houses they could make movies about, I thought of a blog post. Now I know this may offend some people, but, I'm going to write it/list it, anyway. It's my pet peeve, not an attack on any one's character.

Things that people say that drive me insane.

1. Adding "Thank you very much!" to the end of a sentence. Yes, I know just how proud you are of yourself.

2. Adding "It's how I roll." to the end of a sentence. Please, roll out the door. Don't ever come back.

3. Saying, "It is what it is." Well, no sh*t.

4. Starting a sentence with "Typically." Like they are the world's foremost authority on what is about to spew from their mouth.

5. After bitching about whatever, saying, "I'm done." And you know they're not. Because they keep emphasizing it, by saying, "I'm just done." Fine, you're done, shut up about it.

6. "My Bad." Great apology. Perfect.

7. Ending a sentence with, "If you will." I switched doctors once because he kept saying this during my visits.

8. "At the end of the day." I wish it were, then I'd be in bed watching stupid Lifetime movies and not listening to your psycho babble.

9. "Not a problem!" Yes it is.

10. "That being said." This usually follows some sort of insult and now you're going to fix it?

11. "Just sayin." or "I'm just sayin." Stop it.

12. "Get er done." I could go on a hour rant about this.

13. "Too bad. So sad." I'm convinced that the person who says this is a sociopath.

I'm done.

Something Interruptus

2010-03-06T07:49:00.003-05:00

I need a name for a phenomenon that I know all of you out there experience.

What do you call it when at the end of a very busy and annoying day, you've got everything done, put in order and all you want to do is go to bed. You brush your teeth, comb your hair, wash your hands, put your jammies on, get in bed, turn out the lights and the phone rings.

OR

You're hooked on a TV show, it's the only one you watch, dinner is over, the dishes are done, you're all propped up on the sofa with your Pepsi, popcorn, remote in hand you turn it on and then...the phone rings.

OR

You're in a conversation with someone, you've discussed all the possibilities, come to a conclusion, it's over and you're walking out of the room, you're halfway up the stairs, and the person you were talking to yells out, "BUT, what about, when do I, where is, who said or why? etc."

OR

You make dinner, it's awesome, you sit down, you're putting the first fork full in your mouth and the phone rings.

OR

You're watching a movie, it's intense, you're about to find out who dunnit, right at the point that the main character, in his dying breath utters that it was in fact the butler that did it, someone walks in the room and says loudly, "WHAT HAPPENED?" or the person you've been watching it with goes into a coughing fit and you couldn't hear what was said. Or the phone rings.

OR

You're on your way to the grocery store, you've asked everyone in the house if they can think of anything else that is needed. You're in the car, pulling out of the driveway and you hear something. You look up at the front door and one of the other household occupants is standing in the doorway yelling something at you. The yelling goes on forever until you pull the car back in the driveway and ask what it is they want.

OR

You have one foot in the shower and the phone rings.

OR

You've been putting off a miserable chore, like cleaning the bathroom, you've put on your old bleach stained clothes, you've got the bucket full of disinfectant, the rubber gloves are donned, you're on your hands and knees, you've got the scrub brush in hand and the S.O. you share your life with walks in and says, "What are you doing?" or "Can you look at this mole? Does it look funny to you?" or "The cat puked on the sofa, what do you want me to do?" or the phone rings.

OR

You've been so busy that you haven't been able to read that best seller you bought a year ago. You suddenly discover that you have an hour to yourself and you sit down, prop your feet up, open the book and someone walks in the room and asks "What are you reading? or Why are you reading that? or The cat just ran out the door and I can't find him." or the phone rings.

Just Lingering

2010-02-21T19:32:00.000-05:00

I should try this again.

Snow. I don't need to say anything else to any of you about it. It's been a total pain. When I was a kid, why did I think it was so fabulous? We've had a lot, it's covered our roads, taken lanes out, taken parking spaces, closed schools, closed the government!...hmmm... made tempers short, made life impossible for a week or so, UGH! It's getting better, it's just ugly now. What's left of it.

My car died. My "Crazy bout my Mercury." In the middle of all this snow. I had to buy a new one and I was hoping I didn't have too. Another total pain in the middle of all this pain.

Speaking of pain, the RA is totally being a pain. I can't decide on a new med. It's like I'm shopping for just the right dress to wear FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. My doctor is of no help, he's strictly acting like a man, "Just make a decision." is what he says. There are no good ones I say. I'm not sure if I want to walk or if I want lymphoma and lung cancer. You can see my dilema.

So the depression lingers.

Help Me Necie!

2010-01-21T19:21:00.000-05:00

I am so embarrassed. You should see my garage and my basement after I moved the final few things out of my mother's house. It's looks like an episode of Clean House. I should take pictures before I attack it this weekend. OMG. This weekend. The first I've had in a long time that belongs to me and I am going to clean. I don't want to clean it up this weekend. I want to take The Baby out for a birthday celebration. But, maybe that can wait until next weekend.

First, I need to get my Christmas decorations DOWN. Then I need to start the mess in the basement. Then the garage. It will take a few weekends. Not just one. I should take a few days off from work to do it. I am still holding on to things that maybe I don't need. Some toys that I had when I was little, some dolls, lamps from my parent's house. A cedar chest that held my dead cousin's clothes. From the 1930's! I never knew him and how I ended up with I'll never know.

Where is Necie Nash when you really need her?

Ghosts

2010-01-19T21:00:00.000-05:00

After my father died, my mother bought a townhouse to live in. My father would visit her in the night, he would sit on the end of her bed and fuss at her about the crappy house she bought. She finally told him to go away and he never appeared again, but he would play around with a candle in her living room. He would move it from the coffee table and put it on the floor in the dining room. She then sold that house and moved to a house close to me. He still played with the candle.

When my sister and I started to clean out her house after she moved to assisted living, I found the candle. He would move it. I would go out into the garage to help my sister and I would come back into the kitchen and the candle would be moved. We threw the candle away and gave away the candle holder.

A few days ago, I was working in my mother's house to get it ready to rent. My sister and I had given away a lot of things that belonged to my parents, and my mother's parents. I was soaking the broiler pan in the sink, the bottom part of it. The top was lying on the counter. A tupperware bowl was next to it, with a collander sitting inside of the bowl. I was in the dining room straightening up and I heard a loud crash in the kitchen. I went in to the kitchen and the collander was out of the bowl and sitting on top of the broiler pan top. Just as if someone picked it up and slammed it down on top of it.

I called my sister and told her, "Someone is pissed." I didn't feel afraid, or any negative energy, just as if someone wanted me to know they were there.

Tomorrow when I go over there to pick up a few things that are left, I'm going to take my camera and take some pictures at dusk. I want to see if there are any orbs around.

Should be interesting.

This is not the first time that I've been aware of someone being around me. Last winter, The Baby and I were in the kitchen. I was sitting at the kitchen table and he was standing up against the kitchen counter, next to the sink. In the corner was a hot air popcorn popper. On the top of the popper is a measuring cup of sorts, that you use to measure the corn and then put back on the top while the corn is popping. The cup flew off the popper out into the middle of the floor, right in front of us.

The Baby, looked at me and said, "Do you think that was Howard?" I told him I didn't know.

Howard was/is my Dad.

I Have Hopes and Dreams Too

2010-01-17T18:23:00.000-05:00

The last time I saw GREAT icicles is when I lived in the house I grew up in. That was like 40 years ago. Someone else lives there now and they are getting all the GREAT icicles. Or maybe we just haven't had GREAT icicle weather.

My sister and I are still working on my mother's house, getting it ready to rent and we are on the home stretch. The renters are moving in on Friday. I still have a few things to get out, one big thing, my mother's cedar chest. Yes, a real live Lane Cedar Chest, one that a girl's hopes and dreams are built on. Where am I going to put it along with the five rubbermaid tubs of clothes, the five tubs of antique crystal and china? The lamps, the pictures, the guest books from funerals of long ago? My house is small and the task is large. My basement and garage look like a bomb went off in them. I'm so overwhelmed. I want it cleaned up.

For Bradley, yes, my outside lights are still up and yes I still turn them on. Hahahaha.

Two Negatives Equal?

2010-01-12T19:35:00.000-05:00

Remember how I was talking about negative stuff in my life and my blog? Cripes. I just have to tell you this, so maybe you'll laugh along with me.

I'm trying to get my mother's house ready to rent. It's all painted. The carpet is supposed to go in on Thursday. The problem is, getting someone to take the two organs and the one piano. I had it scheduled twice and once they came by and said their truck was too full, today, they said their truck broke down. YESTERDAY. No one called to tell me. They just didn't show. I had to call them and ask them where they were. Also today, a new stove was to be delivered because when I checked the old one last week it mysteriously stopped working, so I went and bought a new one on Saturday to be delivered today, when the organ/piano people were to come. They didn't show either. WTF?

So both of them have promised they would be there tomorrow morning. More time off from work. GRRR.

We'll see.

Blogging

2010-01-09T10:15:00.000-05:00

You noticed. Thank you.

I have written quite a few posts and I have deleted them either smack in the middle of writing or at the end after I've read them over for typos. By the way, what did they do with spell check?

My posts have been so negative, either ranting about coworkers or a coworker in particular, or a family member that has totally annoyed me, or about my health, or the state of the union. I am tired of writing about the negatives. But, I don't want to write about a trip to the mall, or where I had lunch, or about the new section of Wal Mart that just opened and attempt to make them sound like just so much fun. Denial is just as bad as the negative. So what should I write about? My muse left me quite some time ago. The nerve.

I have been thinking about successful blogs, one in particular that I read every day and it's now becoming boring. The same thing, day in and day out, maybe a new cuss word for shock value used to change it up a bit. I was wondering how much longer it was going to last and what the blogger was going to do when her audience starts to fall off. You know, like a long running TV show. What will she and her husband do for a living after that?

Then there are the blogs that chronicle every day life. These are the ones that I mostly read. Some authors hold nothing back, some are very guarded, some leave out details that slip out a few months later and you have an ah ha moment. Some make ambiguous statements that annoy me to no end. They do it on purpose and then I stop reading them. Who needs to be annoyed by a blogger when you have plenty of IRL people to do it for you?

I have let it all out here on the internet and I have had annonymous people stalk me and threaten me. That sort of takes the fun out of it. I've even had friends make nasty comments because of my political affiliations, marital problems, health issues, job annoyances, and if I dare to hug a tree someone will attack for sure. I remember once saying how much I liked a car. I think it was the koenigsegg. Innocent enough. Boy howdy, someone ripped me to shreds over that one little statement. He went on and on, about the cost, the gas, the environment and how dare I. By the way, the bugatti veyron is pretty damn cool too.

So, that leaves me with fiction.

Stay tuned.

August

2009-11-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

Why is it that when I get a new calendar, I go to my birth month to look at the picture they have decided to use for August and I HATE it? Always. What do the calendar people have against the month of August? It's usually some dried up end of summer picture. Why can't they put one of the beach on there? A few surf boards or some hottie life guard to stare at for a month? Is that too much to ask?

A Koi Named Walter

2009-11-10T21:47:00.000-05:00

I was just reading a good blogger friend and noticed a picture of a fish on her website, which reminded me of a day I had with The Baby.

In the spring, we go to several different nurseries looking for just the right flowers to put in our garden. The Baby and I like this one particular nursery as they have a lot of the unusual flowers that you don't find at Home Depot or Meadow Farms. They are, of course more expensive, so I don't go there unless I'm looking for something in particular. This one day we were perusing the aisles and we had finished picking out what we wanted and we decided to go look at their stock of koi for people lucky enough to have a fish pond in their yards. The tanks are graduated with the sizes and we walked along looking in each one, admiring the colors and personalities of these beautiful fish. The Baby looked at me and asked if they bite as he was sticking his fingers in the water and the fish would come up to the surface to see if they were going to get a hand out. Ha. I said, no, they don't bite, but they will nibble on your fingers.

We got to the last tank with the biggest fish. The tank had a wire screen of sorts over it. The wires were about three inches square, just big enough to keep things in that were supposed to stay in. The Baby leaned over the tank, he was sticking his hand in, the fish were coming to the surface and then....*Walter* jumped up and in between the screen and went for The Baby's face. The Baby screamed like a girl and fell backwards after stumbling a bit and me being the good mother that I am doubled over laughing like a hyena.

I'm so sorry that I didn't have our camera with us as I would have $100,000 in my bank account and 15 minutes of fame on America's Funniest Video's. The Baby on the other hand was pissed at my outburst and his not so gracious trip down Koi aisle.

We still chuckle over it.

Some Days Are Diamonds, Some Days Are Stones

2009-11-10T21:26:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday, I took the second dose of the new med for the RA. I always bring my meds to work with me in case of I have a reaction and guess what? I had one. I ended up in my doctor's office with an IV and rescue personnel staring at me.

Tonight as I was leaving my office I ran into my regular doctor, after yelling "HEY" and chasing him down the hallway. He asked me what happened yesterday, as he wasn't in the office when I ran in, and said that it shouldn't have happened and wants me to take the next dose. I said that I wouldn't do it unless I was in his office, so he invited me to take the third dose under his watchful eye in two weeks. I aksed him if he was trying to kill me. He laughed and his nurse that was standing next to him said "That's NOT funny." Anyway, some bigwig from some big university is coming to his office on Monday and he wants to view a sono of my knee, so, I guess I'll get a second opinion then. I'm so special.

Life sucks for a lot of people and some days it sucks for me, but, I do have many things I'm thankful for. My sons are the first thing to come to mind. I'm so proud of them and love them more than they know. If I'm having a bad day, all I have to do is think of them or see them and my heart swells to great proportions.

Then there are those furballs that curl up beside me each night. Life is good.

The Other Side

2009-11-04T20:36:00.000-05:00

The full moon is really nagging me. For the first time in a long time I've felt a little melancholy over a relationship gone bad. I didn't react though. You'd be proud of me. No drunk dialing or emailing. Ha. But I did think about a couple that we knew back when we lived on South Fox.

When we were first married, we lived in a very close knit neighborhood. There were seven of us couples on the same street, and one street over, and one bachelor a few streets away. Every weekend we had cook outs or get togethers in the winter months for dinner parties. Our kids were the same ages and the folks that didn't have kids would just wait until after bed time to join us. We drank, a lot, played darts, danced, ate, smoked cigarrettes and just played out our lives like a 60's sitcom. Life was good even in the late 80's.

We had yard sales together, we went to school functions together, PTA and fundraisers, some went to church with each other, we helped each other with yard work, we swam in each others above ground pools, we had Christmas parties that went long into the nights. There wasn't any aspect of our life we didn't share. Except for me. I was a little standoffish. I didn't get real involved, as I didn't drink like the rest of them and I would get tired of the constant chatter and loudness of it all. Is that a word? Loudness?

One day, one of the childless women was out in her driveway, in her bikini, washing her car. Now this wasn't an odd site, as she didn't like the fact that she was getting older and her husband looked a bit like Elmer Fudd. Seriously. But, she washed that old dinasour Buick every weekend in her bikini. We didn't really think anything of it. That was just the way it was.

I was out front one weekend, planting flowers, mowing or something and I saw Sandra washing the car. Then I noticed that Kay was walking between Sandra's house and Helen's house back towards her house. She never said a word to Bikini Sandra, just kept walking. Hmmmm, I thought, that was unusual. They didn't speak. Like a good neighbor, I called Helen. WHAT IS GOING ON?

Helen told me that Kay's husband had an affair with Bikini Sandra. WHAT? Yes, indeed and all hell had broken lose. The South Fox family was dead. Forever. Kay and her husband left our neighborhood and moved back to their home state to be close to family and rekindle their marriage. It was after their going away party that I found out that I was pregnant with The Baby. The Baby would never know the bonds that we once had with our friends, as the group broke up with each other after Kay and her husband moved away.

You see, the group blamed Bikini Sandra for it all. Except for me. I knew that it always takes two to tango.

So tonight, I was feeling a little sad and lonely and remembered those days. I get emails and Christmas cards from some of them. I run in to the bachelor that still lives in the area at the grocery store occasionally. I still feel a great loss. I've wondered tonight, why it is that some people live through hell and come out on the other side and others don't. Is the other side better?

Not always.

The Half Over Week

2009-10-28T21:00:00.000-04:00

I'm just not as funny as I used to be. I'm not a lot of things I used to be. I remember when my mother was in her fifties and she was having a bit of fun in those days. Me? Not so much. This sweet Indian lady I work with always says, "We had our time Summer." WTH? I'm not dead yet!

I got an email from one of my hsbf's yesterday. He was on the cusp of having another grandchild. I'm old enough, both of my son's are old enough. I just don't see it. Or feel it. I have "step' grandchildren and one day my their mother referred to me as Grandma So and So and I asked her who she was referring too as Grandma So and So was dead. She said "You!" I looked at her with the death stare and said, "They can call me Summer." I told the Warden that she's lucky I didn't say "Mrs. So and So." I'm just not in the mood. When and if my grandchildren ever materialize, I hope I'm past this mood. Doesn't look promising today.

The knee and I have come to some sort of agreement. After having five needles stuck in it yesterday, it's decided to keep quiet. I still woke up in the middle of the night with a bit of an ache and a ghostly glow from this laptop that likes to turn itself on during the night. The Warden woke up and thought I was surfing the net for some firm hotties, but when he looked at my hair I think he realized what a ridiculous prospect that would be. I'm mad at it too. I think I'll cut it.

So anyway, it's been a week of psycho neighboring doctors in the next suite over. Dr. Beige has been decent to me, he even patted me on the back a few times this week. Even the dentist didn't nag me about not flossing enough today. Cripes. Makes me feel like the earth is going to open up and swallow me next. And it's only Wednesday.

Where's the damn spell check?

UN FRIENDING

2009-10-27T19:38:00.000-04:00

So you know I'm on Face Book and I like it fine to keep in touch with friends that live far away and my son that lives further away than I want him too. That just means he's not in the bedroom down the hall. If it was plausible, I would be Miss Ellie and JR and Bobby and their wives would have bedrooms a few feet from mine. So anyway, I am sorry that I allowed my employee coworkers to friend me on FB. As I feel I should have some space in my private life away from the office. What do you think they will do when I "UN FRIEND" them, in order to take care of me and not them? Leave me a comment and tell me what you think.

I earned my paycheck today for sure. Being a manager can be deadly some days.

What's up in your world?

Saturday

2009-10-17T11:05:00.000-04:00

I lay in bed and I think about my cotton candy hair and the pain in my knee and I wonder where summer went. The vacuum is mocking me, I need to visit my mother, I'm bummed because I didn't win the lottery last night. It's raining and cold and why should I get out of bed?

By the time that Saturday rolls around in my world, I'm exhausted mentally and physically. The physical part is all because of the disease that no one can see but I feel. Can I say how envious I am of people that walk with a spring in their step? I'm so jealous. Pea green.

The only thing I'll say about the mental part is, I have people in my life that use straws to suck the life out of me. Big ole straws. Daily. Oh wouldn't I once like to just tell them exactly what I think of them. I share an office with this young woman who often gets mad at the people she deals with. Every day I hear her mumble "Stupid whore" as she slams the phone down. It makes me laugh. I can picture it now. "Summer, so and so in the front office is laughing too loud and we still have patients and I know she's talking about me because I listened BEFORE I came to your office to complain." Dry up you stupid whore! Oh the pleasure of it all.

Anyway, I was hoping to win the lottery last night so I could start planning my escape. But I'll have to wait until I remember to buy another ticket. Or a day when I'm not too lazy to stop at the 7-11 on the way home from work. That's such a huge annoyance for me.

Me: One mega millions ticket.
Idiot: What?
Me: One mega millions ticket.
Idiot: Just one?
Me: Yes.
Idiot: Is that all?
Me: Yes.
Idiot: No gas?
Me: No.
Idiot: Random pick?
Me: Yes.
Idiot: $1.

I'll never get that time back. And what happened to spell checker on blogger?

Is That Snickering I Hear?

2009-09-28T21:13:00.005-04:00

Let's see, where did I leave off? Oh yes, I remember, I was having fun.

I'm worried about myself. Why? Because I don't have fun anymore. When was the last time I had fun? When was the last time I laughed so hard that it hurt? It wasn't that long ago, maybe a few weeks or so, but, it's been a long time in between laughs. Years ago, it was quite often that I would laugh like that. So, I've decided that I'm on the hunt for laughter again.

It's not going to be easy.